Thursday, December 2, 2010

Texas Fans Band Together In Support Of Andre Johnson

Ok guys, this is hilarious. Please, to get proper context view this video that I have provided the link for. Seriously, do it. HIIIIlarious. The video is the fight of Andre Johnson beating the crap out of Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan.

Andre Johnson FightThat fight, which took place during the Titans-Texans game has Texas fans taking time out of their busy days, usually consisting of killing snakes in their backyards with the spurs on their and proceeding to fry the animal in a vat of grease, to raise money for Andre Johnson's $25,000 fine that was awarded for the fight. Because he is obviously so poor.

I guess as the great state of Texas does consist of oil-rich billionaires (about 99.9% actually), they can afford to dig up the spare change buried next to Grandpa in the front yard, but really? It doesn't seem right to take a day off from drafting your own moonshine to dig up the safe when Johnson can afford the fine himself.

Besides, then all those Texas fans will be causing major conjestion on all the four-lane gravel highways with their gas-guzzling pick up trucks when they attempt to mail their checks from the big city. Not only will global warming continue to become more fact than fiction with the increased auto-emissions, but gun shot wounds will surely increase by 1000% as their guns discharge after falling out of the gun rack of their truck. This would mostly be caused by some Willie Nelson fiasco that I can't quite invent at this moment.

While I disapprove of Texas fans raising money to support Andre Johnson, I am fully aware that, though Texas does have the death penalty, they would never persecute one of their own. Meaning I am going to shut it before some horse-riding Texas makes his way up here with a sawed off shotgun. Enough is enough I say, my opinion has been heard.

Oops, sorry for the horse-riding stereotype, I realize trucks are now the number one travel choice of the everyday Texan. However, the rest of what I said is true. Cheers.

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