Thursday, October 28, 2010

Halloween at Ticket King Includes Minnesota Wild

Halloween is right around that spooky alley corner that is generally associated with Halloween Slasher movies. Let's just say Halloween is right on your doorstep. Next to the pumpkin. And Ticket King St. Paul is joining in on the festivities!Free Popcorn at Ticket King

On Saturday, Ticket King St. Paul will be 'pre-gaming' (to my fellow college students, don't get too excited) the Minnesota Wild's spooky showdown with the Chicago Blackhawks. Come join the fun at Ticket King, St. Paul on Saturday night, anytime after 4pm. Wear your best Halloween costume and be rewarded with delicious treats (including popcorn!) and get your picture snapped with an "I <3>
-- The Ticket King Gang.

WARNING: If anyone comes as Snookie, I will be dressed up as the person who punched Snookie. Watch yourself.

Minnesota Timberwolves Fall to Sacremento in Season Opener

Last night was the Timberwolves' season opener against the Sacramento Kings. Minnesota lost 117-116 in a game that had 17 lead changes. Good thing there wasn't 16. Or 18. Lucky us. Perhaps doting Minnesota fans will take comfort in the fact the the King's won from the charity line. You know who else accepts charity they don't deserve? Con artists. Stay classy Sacramento.

Because I don't much want to write about the Timberwolves unless they win (I can only stretch my heart so far for Minnesota Sports teams in a slump because I want to maintain consistent dedication. See: Twins in post season and Minnesota Vikings 2010), I would like to switch the direction of this blog to another blog. My best friend in the whole wide world, yes I can say "best" even if she is the ONLY, has spontaneously (and by spontaneous, I mean through encouragement by me) has started her own make-shift blog. Mara warns her readers that her blog will mostly be opinion based, which means, if you knew her, you would know it is going to be outrageously hilarious. In light of her appreciation for my constant support, Mara has dedicated her blog to me. Well, not yet, but maybe someday. I will prepare a gracious speech. Check out Mara's blog at, the name says a lot about her, and you will laugh yourself out of that office chair.


Because I am such a great friend, I found the best picture I could of Mara, while attempting to not mislead my readers, or hers. =)

Back to the main and less important topic: The Minnesota Timberwolves will be hosting the Milwaukee Bucks on Friday. Tip off is set for 7pm. If they WIN, stay tuned for some intelligent Timberwolves' clamor from this girl. Peace.

Charlie Sheen

By now everyone and their Uncle (plus their Uncle's special lady) has gotten word of Charlie Sheen and his drunken antics... correction, alleged drunken antics... that took place while he was allegedly naked. Allegedly-schmallegedly. On a side note, when things like this happen with Charlie Sheen, Lindsey Lohan, or Paris Hilton, and similar celebrities, we should be allowed to stop referring to their chaos as "alleged". Everyone knows the truth.

Charlie Sheen

Anyway, police found Sheen's room to be trashed, including but not limited to, tables and chairs being overturned and a damaged chandelier. A chandelier? Pretty classy for Charlie Sheen. He must of agreed, ergo he destroyed it. Allegedly.

All I can say is, I'm glad Charlie Sheen didn't have to go to jail because obviously this guy has a great time. I want to party with him. Who wouldn't?

You might be asking yourself, 'what does Charlie Sheen have in common with sports?' Clearly, like any athlete, he loves his extracurriculars.

Vikings Loss To Packers

I am loathing the Vikings' loss to the Packers on Sunday. It is now Thursday and I am still having trouble sleeping at night. Not a joke. The loss was a hard one to take because there were SO many lost opportunities (or robbed). We had the chance to win, and then the officiating crew got a raise.

The Vikings performed well in a brutal environment on Sunday. AP obliterated Green Bay's defense taking on 131 yards and a TD off of 28 carries. Percy Harvin displayed his versatility through 5 receptions (***should be 6) for 65 yards (***could have been more) for 1 TD (***TWO). Bitter.

Wide Receiver, Randy Moss, whom I shall refer to as "The Freak" in the remainder of this awesome blog post out of respect for his faux moon against the Packers the last time he was at Lambeau in Purple, found the end zone. Personally, I think we need to utilize The Freak's abilities even more, especially those assets that are classified as 'fan antagonism". I hate Packer Fans. YOU ARE WEARING CHEESE ON YOUR HEAD! Which, frankly, relates you closer to a rodent than it does a human. And makes you stink like parmesan. Gross.

Never the less, all of the aforementioned jibber-jabber added up to a resounding loss for the Vikes. Yay, Purple Pride. The loss to the Packers will sting for a while, especially since we aren't used to losing to that obnoxious Pack (yes that is a jab at you Packer fans who have lost to OUR Brett Favre the last, and only, 2 times we have played you!). I'm sure we will rehash the game over and over in our heads, crunch numbers to see if we can budget an officiating crew in to our payroll, and replay Aaron Rodgers raising both arms and holding up 2 pointer fingers for victory in true Brett-Favre-Fashion (who do you think you are???) endlessly, but we must move on. We must man-up... or something... and face New England a team that is playing very, very well right now.

Butterfly EffectIn other news, another loss by the Minnesota Vikings, coupled with the fracturing of Brett Favre's ankle prompted an earthquake in Indonesia resulting in a tsunami-volcano eruption, one-two punch within 24 hours of each other. This, people, is known as the Butterfly Effect. Butterfly Effect can be defined as the following: If Brett Favre fractures his ankle in Minnesota, an earthquake, tsunami, and volcano triple threat will be unleashed on Indonesia, halfway across the globe. We need to get our sh** together FAST! Our bad.

*** This information is based on the yearly salary of Sunday's officiating crew according to the 2010 "How to screw the Vikings survey" plus any compensatory arrangements made through the Green Bay Packers; most likely all payments will be relative to the amount of 'screwing' the crew does to the Vikings. All figures have been rounded down and understated.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Minnesota Wild Schedule

Minnesota Wild ScheduleThis may not be college related, but I am always finding ways to show off my hidden talents... I created a great Minnesota Wild schedule. Stop on in to Ticket King, St. Paul and pick one up! They even come on green paper!

Ticket King's Sister Site, Gophers Hockey Tickets

You all known everything there is to know about my employer, Ticket King. 1) They took me off the streets and give me money, 2) Cortney makes me coffee, which is great, 3) I write amazing articles based off there ingenious ideas! Now that you are familiarized, let me introduce you to Ticket King's sister site that specializes innnnnnnn: (drumroll please!) Gophers Hockey Tickets

For all you U of M Hockey fanatics out there, I have discovered (well, Kristy actually told me about it) the best site for cheap U hockey tickets. On our sister site, you can learn everything there is to know about the men in maroon and gold, plus get great deals on tickets! Do yourself a favor, check it out. Now that I know about the Gophers Hockey Ticket site, I am kind of in the mood to promote it.

Gophers Hockey Tickets Website
I am looking to lighten my purse up a bit, yes, I think the Gophers Hockey Ticket site is that AMAZING... I want to help them advertise. If you know someone or someone you know knows someone else... uh... ya, if you know anyone who has a Minnesota Gophers sports blog, you should definitely email me. Make some money! Let me know: =)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tim Brewster Fired

The search for a new head coach for the University of Minnesota Gopher football team is on; Tim Brewster was shown the door on Saturday after the Gopher football team moved to 1-6 falling to Purdue. The athletic direct at the U said he wants, "to find a Tubby Smith," or someone to raise the excitement level that should be associated with the new TCF Bank Stadium. Will Jeff Horton serves as the interim head coach, the search is on. Here are potential candidates:

Kevin Sumlin, Houston head coach:Kevin Sumlin

Sumlin has obviously had success as a head coach and has Minnesota ties, which is clearly a plus, but is he ready to be a Minnesota head coach? this would require him jumping to the next level. The answer is yet to be seen.

Marc Trestman, Montreal Alouettes head coach:

Trestman is a Minnesotan through and through... except for the part about coaching in Canada, which I'm sure isn't fun. Trestman went to St. Louis Park High School, played at the U of M and MNSU and worked for 3 years as a Vikings assistant. Impressive. Marc Trestman

Other prospects include:

Brady Hoke, San Diego State head coach; Make Markuson, Mississippi offensive coordinator; Mike Belottie, former Oregon head coach; Lesli Frazier, Vikings defensive coordinator; Mike Stoops, Arizona head coach; Jim McElwain, Alabama offensive coordinator.

I suggest you buy some Gopher Football Tickets and see what the team will look like post-Brewter-departure. Check 'em out.

Vikings Cowboys Weekend

This past weekend was quite an adventure for me. My UST bestie, Samantha Beck, had her cousin, Michael, and his friend, Matt, in town from California for the Vikings Cowboys game. Michael, a Minnesotan at heart and Matt, who might as well be wearing permanent cowboy boots were quite the pair.

However, let me start at the beginning of the weekend. On Friday, around early evening, my neighbors (who you may recall are Augsburg Baseball Players) invited myself, Samantha and her friend Chelsea, and our other roommate to a baseball party. We had planned to take it easy on Friday, given our big weekend ahead of us (set to pick Michael and Matt up at the airport the following day), but of course the sight of backyard games including, but not limited to, a college form of frisbee, bags, and hammerschlagen, we fast became committed to traveling that night to North Minneapolis. For those of you familiar with the cities, you know North Minneapolis is not dissimilar to Compton.

We arrived fashionably late at the house situated in between the Bloods and the Crips, and got our game on. One thing led to another and well, Samantha lost her phone. Go figure. This normally wouldn't have been a huge issue, but without Michael's number, we had zero access to his flight information.

After calling in a few favors, following a few paper trails, and one quick call to Michael's mom, we were set to pick up the boys at the airport. Let our weekend begin!

Allison, Matt, Samantha, Michael, Tyler, ChelseaBeing from California, Michael and Matt were adamant on going to White Castle, made famous by the movie "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle". Harold Lee and Kumar Patel are two stoners who end up craving White Castle. On their adventures, they encounter many obstacles including a raccoon and a racist officer. While we did not encounter either of those, we did have our own adventures involving a bilingual cashier and a street race.

Sunday, we all watched the Minnesota Vikings roundup the Cowboys. 'Nough Said.

All in all it was a successful weekend, resulting in me missing 3 out of my 5 classes on Monday.

Oh, PS, someone hacked my bank account this weekend and possibly has my social security number. I blame Compton. Hey, at least Texas beat the Yankees last night.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Favre the (Un)Faithful

Brett Farve Texting TroublesThere are two types of people in the world. Those that have heard about Brett Favre's alleged infidelity and those who haven't because their head is in the sand.

I am addressing those who have, the latter are a drain on society and need to get a clue.

Personally, I don't care if Brett Favre has an affair, or sexts, or sends naughty naked pictures... unless I am not on the recieving end of those delicious innuendos. Ooops... about that. Seriously though, who cares? Brett Favre is a silver fox that just so happens to have recently thrown over 5oo career passes for over 70,000 yards... yet we, the highly educated public, care about his indiscretions? We would.

With Brett Favre potentially joining the likes of Tiger Woods (when he said, "Just Do It", I misunderstood the directive), David Letterman (who broke word of discretions himself and is simply too funny to be upset with), Jon Gosselin (how, with his pudgy, balding, Ed-Hardy-sporting frame, he can get girls is beyond me) and Sandra Bullock's husband (no one knows his actual name... or cares), I see it more as a chance for myself to become the homewrecker everyone loves to hate than a reason to hate him. If thats what it takes for me to get in to Brett Favres jock strap, I gladly accept the terms.

On a side note, all the press Brett Favre is receiving is worrying an NFL team. I would have assumed the Vikings too, but no, the New York Jets are concerned that their reputation may not come out of this hot mess unscathed. In fact, the Jets could be sued for providing a hostile work environment that led to sexual harassment. Hostile? Hardly... I think they were looking for "erotic". Not everyone can be a wordsmith. Work environment? Who are you kidding, the Jets were 9-7 during their 2008 season, whatever work environment was attempted, failed. Perhaps, a work environment didn't exist at all if everyone was out frolicking in company incest. A word of advice, Jets, enjoy your 2010 season because, for you, this will blow over; you don't have to worry about Mrs. New York Jets getting jealous anyway. For Brett Favre, he will live with this reputation forever...

Cheaters never prosper? Bullshhhhhi*.

I dedicate this post to my lifelong friend, Mara, for she too has troubles staying faithful to her men. Mara: if you ever find yourself straying of f the path of discretion... think: what would Brett do. You can be faithful when you're dead. Stay strong girrrl.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Twins Look to 2011 After Slump Finish

The Minnesota Twins' season stopped short this year, despite their aspirations of a deep postseason run. Such a deep postseason run has been out of the grasp for the Twins since 2002. In Fort Myers, for Spring Training, it seemed to be the year where the Twins had expectations of returning to the World Series for the first time in almost two decades, their last World Series experience being in 1991.

The magic of Target Field had shown through all season for the Twins, but failed to keep the Twins from another first-round exit from playoffs via another loss, in this case a sweep, by the New York Yankees. You guys know how I feel about this.

Despite another disappointing end for the Twins, the team did accomplish great things in their 2010 season; things that do not deserve to be forgotten. Let's review them.

The Twins managed to shift some players and dampen the loss of first baseman Justin Morneau when Morneau suffered a season-ending concussion back in early July. Gardenhire used the Twins depth on the bench to bring Cuddyer in to first, take Kubel off the bench and out to right, and utilize Jim Thome in the DH position. Which brings me to, possibly, the biggest and best surpise of the Twins 2010 season.

Jim Thome. Jim Thome, the veteran bat who came to the Twins looking for a job, received a $1.5 million contract in January. Twins weren't inclined to believe Thome would emerge as one of the Twins' most potent sluggers as a left-handed power hitter, clearly they had no idea what they were talking about. I personally give Jim Thome my blessing as one of the most fun players to watch and one of the greatest assets this 2010 season. In addition to being very fast. Thank you, Jim Thome.

This season, the Twins also managed to solidify their bullpen. Something the organization has struggled with. After Joe Nathan exited Spring Training early looking to Tommy-John surgery, the Twins feared they may be plagued with a hole again this year. Fransisco Liriano, post-Tommy John, returned to the game as the Twins ace pitcher. I look for Liriano to be an important person in the Twins' rotation for years to come.

Joe Mauer, our hometown hero, started off slowly offensively, but made a roaring comeback, and even became a contender for the Batting Title with a .373 batting average.

Carl Pavano grew a mustache.

Danny Valencia stepped up as a rookie third baseman and quickly became a fan-favorite to watch because of his innate talent and boyish good looks.

Jon Rauch continued to shut down hitters, who were equally likely to be intimidated by his Russian-mobster looks, accompanied by tattoos, as they were with his pitches. He came out of the 2010 season with 21 saves.

I maintain my belief that the Minnesota Twins are the best team in baseball and are even better than some teams that aren't in baseball... like many soccer teams for example. I also hope to visit my Twins in Fort Myer this year. Until then, Twins. Let's start gearing up for next year.

The Twins ended their season with a 94-68 record, first place in AL Central.

Tubby's Tipoff

I just read a little bit about, what the University of Minnesota Men's Basketball program, Tubby's Tipoff. Let me fill you in. Tubby's Tipoff is the Gopher version of "Midnight Madness" which celebrates the first day in mid-October that the NCAA permits formal basketball practices.

The Barn Doors will open to the public at 8:30pm on October 15th. Get there early as the night starts off with an autograph session until 9:00pm. Tubby's Tipoff ScrimmageThe introductions of players and coaches will begin around 10:00pm, followed by a three-point shooting contest, a slam dunk contest, and scrimmage. To be honest, I think it all sounds pretty cool.

Oh! I almost forgot, the whole thing is FREE! Be there. Here is a link to look in to the Gopher Men's Basketball Season.

Making the Most of My College Life

Minneapolis Police DepartmentThis past week, and I'm sure you noticed, I was unable to fulfill my weekly quota of four spectacular blog postings. (I do have the option of 10 average postings, but average is pretty mediocre... seriously... its like the definition.) Like I was saying, I was unable to fulfill my weekly quota because my professors thought it would be extremely awesome to load me down with 3 exams, 1 quiz, and 2 group projects. Ahhh... your college years really are the best years of your life, aren't they?

In light of my overwhelming work load, I had Thursday off. Then I pulled a fast one and hired someone to take my tests and do all my homework, then spent my Thursday sleeping. Juuusst kidding, I wish.

Not to be a downer, but to top off last week's awesomeness, my Twins lost. In three. To the Yankees. I hate the Yankees so much, seriously... SO MUCH. Here is a tale to corroborate my strong hatred of those pin-striped namby-pambies: Last year, Samantha and I (recall, UST friend and roommate) thought ourselves to be extremely intelligent entrepreneurs... and Yankee haters. We thought it best to expose our hidden business-savvy capabilities by ordering 500 shirts stamped with "Even Jesus Hates the Yankees" shirts on credit, because of course we couldn't afford it. And 100 would have been too few. Next, we roped my other friend Mara in to our franchise without her knowing.

I knew it would seem smart writing about my experience too, instead of just living it. Seems smart, doesn't it?

Cutting to the chase, we were selling these shirts for 20 bucks a pop... until we were arrested. Ok, not arrested, but ticketed by very nice Minneapolis officers who found it to be offensive that we were without a vendor permit... even though there are people out there selling meth without permits. We were the true criminals in their eyes. (I will not address what we were in the eye's of God today.)

Several other AWESOME things happened:

1) Originally, we thought the undercover policmen were fans of our shirts who were interested in a bulk purchase. wrong

2) it was 50 degrees Fahrenheit (10 degrees Celsius for those of you across the pond) and we were yelling at people to PLEASE buy our shirts in Minneapolis

3) a god-fearing woman told us to be ashamed because Jesus loves everyone; our bad

4) a guy, who was clearly an XL kind of dude, bought a Medium because the shirts were so awesome and we were fresh out of his regular size; he later had to be cut out of said shirt

5) none of us had a form of identification on us for our indictment... except for Sam, she took the bullet. see 5.5 for the effect of 5's cause.

5.5) i lost my only two friends. great.

6) the twins lost

Needless to say, we didn't make the amount of money we had anticipated, but we did manage to make enough to pay our shirt producer and our ticket. Above all, it was one of the most boisterous, entertaining nights of my life and I would do it again in a heart beat.

So... I'm real glad the Twins lost this past week. And that the Vikings lost last night. But hey... at least Brett Favre is faithful. Oh... wait.

Kansas Jayhawks vs Kansas State Wildcats

Time for some college football news. The 4-1 Kansas State Wildcats will be making their fury way to Lawrence on Thursday night to rumble with the 2-3 Kansas Jayhawks. Kansas State is hoping for a huge rebound after a more than disappointing loss to Nebraska last week.

This will be the 108th meeting of the Sunflower Showdown (the Paul Bunyan Axe has been going for 117 games, NBD) and Kansas has had the upper hand in this series lately... whoops. Which Kansas? I'm not going to tell, I can't give you guys everything.

Anyway, the visiting team in the Sunflower Showdown has only won just ONCE in the past six years. Good luck Kansas State, everyone loves a neat Cinderella Story.

If you are looking to hit up any of these games in person, which you obviously should, Ticket King (my rewarding employer!) has tickets... and so does this other Kansas Jayhawks site I stumbled upon. Here is the link, check it out: Kansas Jayhawks Football Tickets.

Sunflower Showdown

I know, they DO give blogs to anyone these days.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Even Jesus Hates the Yankees

Twins fans, brace yourselves... you are going to be irate. A Recent NY Daily News magazine cover:

"Bad News: Yanks must go on the road for playoffs," the cover reads and continues with, "Good News: They play the Twins".

Get a clue. The blasted New York Yankees come to town for the opening series against the Twins for the American League Division Series. Mind you, the Yankees LOST (LOST!!) the American League Championship and are only in the playoffs as a Wild Card, in contrast to the Twins, who have known for over a week that the they gained a post-season berth. But hey, who is counting. Jerks.

Our ace, Liariano will have a showdown against the Yank's workhorse, C.C. Sabathia. Let us collectively cross our fingers that this post season matchup will mirror neither the Twins' stumble to the finish line this season, nor the 2009 season playoff result. Seriously, I have had enough of the Yankees... and that is the best way I can describe it without falling off the wagon.

I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate those of you who will be attending the games this week while I will be watching the game in the comfort of my own home pouring over marketing and economics texts to study for a Friday test. Thanks UST, thanks.

Fall Fashion

It is that time of the year... sweater dresses and cardigans paired with leggings and knee high boots. If only I were ready; I have yet to make my fall excursion to the mall... I'm writing this article in a tank top with short. Not really. I just though that might get a chuckle. Whatever.
Sanzia BootMicheal Kors Boot
My issue is money management. I believe in being frugal, but I don't execute frugality... it really isn't my best attribute. However, I am ready to whip out my Visa and purchase a pair of black, leather, knee high boots. The only problem is which ones... Help me readers!

After I buy one of these fabulous boots, I plan on updating my fall wardrobe. I can't wait! Aaaaannnddd... Donations are being accepted. Thanks!

I Salute You, Tommie Football

Who was a part of the largest crowd, 16,421 in MIAC history on Saturday... this girl. On October 3rd, I experienced the most epic Tommie/Johnnie game ever, with an overtime win in the bag for my Toms. Quickly, Facebook blew up clever statuses pertaining to the win, youtube videos went up to network SJU's defeat, and UST students stormed the field in a thundering and, somewhat, belligerent manner. TOMMIES! TOMMIES! TOMMIES! Please read on for my first attempt at a rendition dedicated to the University of St. Thomas Tommie football team.

Channel "Real Men of Genius":
(Real Men of Genius)

Today, I salute you Tommie Football Extrodinaires.
(Tommie Football Extrodinaires)
Any football player can score with a Bennie, but it takes real skill to beat the Johnnies with hefty Bennies oggling you in your sleek grey pants.
(Oddly disturbing!)
Bred to perfection, men of the pigskin, you tirelessy scored touchdown after touchdown to appease your belligerent fans.
(Johnnies Suck!)
Time out? You don't need a stinking time out.
No one knows the guts it takes to step in to Clemens Stadium and play a pack of frustrated Johnnies.
(Purple and Red!)
So crack open an ice-cold beverage, Tommy Toms, because the way you pounded that ball in to the red zone impressed even the most experienced Johnnies.
(Whoa whoa whoa!)

That is pretty much all I have to say about my day on Saturday, which, mind you, is much more than people could ACTUALLY say on Saturday... weird. I suppose I need some sort of disclaimer here... I am in no way affiliated with Budweiser, yet I do find myself hanging around Budweiser often.

And sorry if you found this inappropriate, but I find Johnnies/Bennies to be highly inappropriate so, please, excuse yourself.

Coming up this weekend: Auggie/Tommie. Sharing a duplex and yard domain with 5 Auggie baseball players... this weekend could get real interesting real fast.