Friday, November 5, 2010

Ten Reasons Randy Moss Fits with the Titans

I found it particularly strange that my last post was a serious post about Minnesota Sports, that seems rare in these times. Habits die hard...

Top Ten Reasons Randy Moss is a Better Fit in Tennessee

10. The Catering Menu-- The "Mom and Pop" cooking style clearly didn't suit someone of Moss' elegant taste. Luckily, Tennessee is famous for fried... pickles.

9. Energy-- If you aren't energetic about Randy Moss coming to town, he will surely get your adrenaline pumpin' with a good moon or, maybe he will step it up a notch, and show off that big jock strap off his. (Anyone with an ego that big has to be boasting something worthy below the belt)

8. Confidence-- The Titans have been lacking in self-confidence lately. Good thing Moss has enough to go around. Confidence just went up 3000% in Tennessee.

7. Team Name-- Titans, according to Greek Mythology, were giant gods of exceptional importance and reputation who ruled the Earth. Coincidentally, the definition of Randy Moss is not dissimilar. Weird.

6. Team Bonding-- Bo Scaife of the Titans stated, "I know everyone on our team is going to welcome him [Randy Moss] with open arms." Right... when was the last time you saw ANYONE give Randy Moss a hug.

5. Hmmm... something about having an afro. I'll get back to you.

4-3. uhhh.... I guess Moss isn't really that great of a fit for the Tennessee Titans seeing as I could only dish 8 reasons, 100% of which I made up. Shucks.

2.Press Conferences-- The Titans team, nor the coaching staff, are likely to be caught off-guard by a rogue press conference statement by Moss because no reporter cares enough about the Titans to cover them. Looks like all of Moss' self-interviewing skills are going to go to waste. Bumski.

1. Randy Moss is pissed-- A pissed Randy Moss tends to play better than the crazy, fast-talking, no-respect-for-authority, normal Moss. (You're to thank for that, Childress) He is out to prove a point, meaning any ball within his zip code will be caught by him. Until someone tries to offer him cornbread.

Despite all the jokes that find their way seamlessly in to my blog from the departure of Randy Moss, I still miss him and would welcome him back any day now. Who else can we count on to always only pay "straight cash homie"?

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