Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Vikings Divorce Randy Moss

What the heck went wrong?

The news that Randy Moss has been waived by Minnesota shocked fans (and critics) as it filtered through the airwaves. Even the most jaded cynics of Mr. Class-Act Randy Moss didn't foresee the Vikes/Moss relationship deteriorating and ending in just four weeks. Too soon. Too wrong.

What happened? Moss interviewed Moss. His post-game press conference in New England happened. Moss was Moss, he hemmed and hawed in his self-conducted interview, while taking time to graciously (never thought 'graciously' would be associated with such a big donkey? me either) thank his prior team, the New England Patriots for the pleasure it was to work with them and that he misses "the hell out of them". What... a sap. THIS IS THE NFL, suck it up you jock strap. Moss continued to vent his frustration of Childress (whoever ISN'T frustrated with Childress obviously lives in Cambodia where they don't know what football is) and eventually boiled over everything to the media... in his self-conducted interview (I just want to make sure everyone is aware that Randy Moss had to pay $25,000 for not answering questions by the media, he doesn't care, and that he will be conducting his own interviews. Classic Moss). Moss had a moment of frustration exposed in front of the media.

Then, we KILLED him.

Randy Moss Waived
Moss' interview has been dubbed a "meltdown", described as a "surreal" moment of Moss "ripping" his team to shreds. Basically, people think Moss is Cancer... the really bad kind that attacks babies. I took the liberty to hit the archives and research memorable, classic, and very entertaining Randy Moss quotes by Randy Moss or related to:

"Ain't nothing but 10 grand. What's 10 grand to me?" Well, Randy apparently 10 "Gs" weren't enough because you weren't interviewing yourself back then. 25 was all it took... dawg.

"Let's go now, this is our time. We are going to have fun now. There's no telling what you are going to see." Shocker, this was before he 'mooned' Green Bay Packers fans at Lambeau. I like it a lot.

"The tough part of it is, Randy will never be a model citizen. But until this, he's been so good so far this year. It was a very immature thing to do. And he's got to understand that everybody is watching him. But it wasn't a career-ender." Ok, ok this wasn't a direct Randy Moss quote, but it was some random's quote post-'mooning' incident. It wasn't a career ender.... Never a model citizen... PEOPLE! THIS IS RANDY MOSS WE ARE TALKING ABOUT! No offense to California, but Moss has admitted to smoking marijuana, Moss conducts his own interviews, he is one of the best receivers in the game... basically Randy Moss is one bad ass motha, we knew what we were getting.

Personally, I don't care if Moss smokes, swears, almost hits people with his car, or enjoys the field of news broadcasting... he is one of the best damn receivers in the NFL and he was OURS! Brett Favre cheated on his wife for Christ's sake, we still love him. On behalf of... myself... I personally apologize to you, Randy... Randall, for disrespecting you in such a way that made you, probably, punch an infant. I also extend an invitation to come back... I'll even let you do something outrageous. (Come on, it is pretty funny)

Sure Moss is a donkey, but we knew that when we signed him. Besides, whoever doesn't think it is a bit funny wouldn't laugh at anything normal humans laugh at. I get that Moss has a huge ego, but I think Childress is just jealous because he can't sport those luscious black dreads like Moss can. Get some hair Childress... then get a new job. Until then, In Percy We Trust.

Please understand that I really don't know when/why the above quotes were stated and that I just adapted them to fit certain situations in an attempt to appease my readers. Thanks.

1 comment:

  1. Well said. I like the term "donkey" Way to stray away from curse words. So appropriate.