Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Well Played Bachmann, Well Played

In the words of Michele Bachmann, "I will not vote yes"... to Michele Bachmann. Yes, I am from Minnesota and would like to see the midwest better represented in the White House, but not this way. NOT THIS WAY.

Bachmann, who only days ago was dubbed "the Queen of Rage" by some magazine or another (I think Newsweek?) is now trying to show the American public the softer side of Michele. Mary Canfield, a centenarian (a person who is 100 years or older) was in the presence of Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann at the Black hawk County Republicans Lincold Day Dinner on Sunday.

Bachmann gave Canfield two things to show the greatest respect to Canfield: one, the title of "oldest Republican mother" and, two, "the biggest, fattest, deepest" apple pie money could buy.

What... generous gifts.

That is just what I want when I am 100 years old. A title pointing out that, not only am I 100 years old, but I am the oldest around implying I'll probably drop dead soon. Heck, give me a sash too and let's make it really obvious. Love it. Additionally, you better buy me a pie. Nothing says "I appreciate your vote" like a good old fashioned store bought pie. You know what they say... its the thought that counts. Quick thinking, Bachmann, on stopping at Cub Foods. Its thinking like that that'll land you square in the oval office you critical thinker, you.

I guess I can understand. The older generation hates sitting down and actually having a conversation. Trust me, my Grandpa hates when I come home just to see him and just to talk to him about my life and watch the Twins game. He would much more prefer I walked in the door with a pie or a playstation or something. Its always better to buy relationships with gifts than to construct them.

Oh you politicians. No wonder we have the debt that we have. Instead of sitting down and actually LISTENING to people, we are off scooping up the best that money can buy and hoping we can purchase our way out of this thing and in to office. Yes, let us continue down the path of buying off Americans so we keep our mouths shut... never mind it being bribery.

Be ashamed of yourselves. I know I am.

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